her vagina looked like bernie madoff
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Your penis caused this!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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