How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
