mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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