i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize