Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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