Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
