I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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