He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize