you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
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He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
It's blow job season.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
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How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize