Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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