i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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