Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.