Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood