Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.