Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other