its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.