I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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