I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
