I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
