Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
