You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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