We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize