I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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