but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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