So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
