She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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