oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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