What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
