This is not my ceiling
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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