The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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