Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
