an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize