This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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