i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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