This is not my ceiling
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
