I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
