Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
