dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Randomize
