She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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