She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
