Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
