if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
