I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
