I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
