Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
