found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
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No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
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High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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