And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
