I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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