when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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