I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
