Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
