the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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