Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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