better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize