Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Randomize
