But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
