I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
