Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Randomize
