Well douche your snatch and let's go!
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
If I die, sorry about rent.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
