Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
