My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
