Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
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I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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