proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
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He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
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Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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