is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
