Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
organizing the empties. That sober.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
not ubering you a puppy
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
