did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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